This morning I dropped my eldest off at school. She has had mixed feelings this year about school. She is in the first grade and at first she loved it. She discovered hopscotch, made a couple friends, was enjoying eating lunch in the cafeteria and she was doing well in the classroom. Then on Monday afternoon she told me that she wanted to talk.
You have to understand the kind nature of our eldest before I continue with the story. She is very sensitive to others around her and how they talk to her and treat her. When she gets in trouble I have to be very careful what I do or say because it really does crush her to think her dad is disappointed in her. All I really have to do is look at her and she starts to cry and wants a hug. I guess because of this relationship with her and our shared sensitive natures I have a relationship with her where I feel very protective of her feelings and what others do and say to her. I hope I am not overprotective but I also see that to her words and relationships are very important.
When she asks to talk that is her method for either confessing something she has done wrong or wanting to share with me something that is bothering her. I said sure and we went to her room. Normally we just sit on her bed and she tells me what she has on her mind. This time she began by telling me that she "sat in a hamburger today".
Confused I said "a hamburger?".
Maren: "Yeah, sat in the hamburger during recess."
Me: "Honey what do you mean you sat in a hamburger?"
Maren: "No one wanted to play with me so I sat in the hamburger."
By this time she was starting to look very sad. I was trying to be serious yet I was still trying to figure out what she meant by sitting in a hamburger. I thought that maybe she had sat on a hamburger at lunch. I was wrong...with a bit more prodding I discovered that at her school they have several hamburger playground things. I guess you can climb up a latter into and sit inside them. This morning I looked for them and indeed they are there and they are little private spaces.
Back to our conversation on her bed....
Me: "So did you sit in the hamburger all of recess?"
Me: "What happened to your two friends?"
Maren: "They said they didn't want to play with me and that they were going to play with some other kids a game that would be to hard for me to do. She said I should work on my hopscotch because I am not very good. But dad, I am really good I can do it front ways, side ways and back ways."
Me: "Well I am sorry to hear that. I am sure there are plenty of other girls that do hopscotch do you think you could make a new friend tomorrow and play with her?"
Maren: "Well..I will try."
By this time she was still sad but willing to give it a shot. Over the next few days the same story was recounted to me about her two friends not wanting to play, her sadness and escape to the hamburger and her not trying to make a new friend.
This morning we talked and she said she would try again to make a friend. I know it sounds a little amusing and is not really that big of deal. I know a lot kids experience similar and worse feelings at school. It is just hard when it is your own daughter. Making new friends is hard. Feeling like you don't have friends is hard. I recently read a post from a friend of mine from my elementary school days who's son was just recognized by his school for going out of his way to reach out to those kids who feel they don't have a friend. I am glad there are children like my friends child who look out for a help kids like my little daughter.
Well there you have it. An update from our eldest and her working through challenges in life.